Often, as survivors, we seem to be more negative because of our past experiences, keeping us in a downward spiral that is hard to dig ourselves out of. Changing your mindset from negative to positive isn’t easy. But to experience it really does change you as a person. I believe this so much. I believe in positive thinking, I live it,. it is now a part of my life, and for the most part life changing.
Being negative can keep you feeling depressed. I was that way years ago and for many many years took antidepressants. I hated how I always felt, I lived in the past, the hurts of my past. I didn’t know how to change the pattern that followed me from my childhood. Working through the past through many many years of therapy helped me so much, but I was still taking antidepressants. The past lived with me in my present, and I wanted to leave it behind. Once I was able to tell myself that the “past could no longer hurt me” that it happened yes, it was horrific, but my life is the present, I needed to let go and move on.
It takes a lot of hard work to let go. We lived it our whole lives, but we can’t let it define us. We as adults need to push forward, balance our lives, live with positive outcomes. I did just that, I decided I wasn’t going to let my past define me any longer. It was up to me to make the decision as to where I wanted to be in my life. Years ago I told my inner child she was safe, that no-one could hurt her any longer. I reached deep inside of myself and knew i was right. I forgave my abusers, I told myself I was never at fault and was finally able to move forward.
Last year I started this journey of positive thinking, positive actions, and turned my mindset around. Negativity, was not going to be at the forefront of my feelings. I chose positive affirmations, wrote them everyday, felt them, lived them and through this was able to feel like a new person inside. Everything seemed to change, for one thing my blood pressure came way down, I am now off of my b/p medication. My b/p is on the lower side now And I feel great. My self image has changed, I have lost 50 pounds, feel fantastic and attribute it to the mindset of positive thinking. I am now off of my antidepressants and feel great. I was afraid to go off of them in the past thinking that I would spiral downwards. Before doing any of these things, you doctor needs to be involved and check ups to make sure all is well. Im not saying its for everyone, but changing your mindset can change your outlook on life, on yourself and how you feel.
Be who you want to be, never let your past define who you are today. Hugs and Love..Mary….
Be complacent in your own self.
Always believe in your abilities.
Speaking in a positive way shows how much respect
you have for yourself.
Be fully aware of your authenticity.
The values you live by have an impact on others.
Never allow others to disrespect you.
Walk away. Trust your intuition.
Self love is showing respect for oneself.
You deserve the best in your life.
Always love yourself first.
That love will blossom outward to others. bringing
respect back to you.
Prose by Mary Graziano©2017
Fabulous watercolour portrait & title
By my wonderful artistic friend
Inner strength lives inside each of us. So many times we feel we are without any inner strength,that our confidence doesn’t lift us high enough. Confidence comes from within. If we believe in ourselves we will become more and more confident.
Our confidence was “shot down” when we were children, living in a world of abuse. They stole our confidence, stole our self-esteem. We were vulnerable, believed all the hurtful things said to us. We lived with this right up into our adult life, always believing we weren’t good enough, we were failures. Believing it was our fault that these things happened to us.
How wrong we were. Many of us who have healed for the most part know that this is a fallacy. It was never our fault. We were innocent. As adults many of us can see that. We know we were stuck in a place we had no control of. But now, we are i control, we can begin to build ourselves up. Be confident in our abilities. Able now to find our inner strength, believing in ourselves. Free to be in control, mot let the abuser be in control any longer.
Reach deep inside, find that inner strength, it’s there waiting for you to grab hold and believe in yourself, believe that you are worthy of so much!!
There are some words surrounding the whole abuse topic that give that heavy shameful feeling in the pit of your stomach. You know the ones. Sexual abuse. Rape. Child abuse. I learned a foreign language to not say them ever again. Maybe you have done something similar.
The painful memories, shame and guilt attached to these words give them power and make them difficult to hear much less say. In a way the words keep us stuck where we are. How can a survivor tell her story if the very words used to describe what happened carry such a trigger?
When I first told my story I used synonyms to diminish the word’s power. It was easier to say “he violated me” than the shaming words “he raped me.” Maybe because nowadays we usually associate violate with breaking the law in some way.
Sometimes the words hold us back but keeping the silence only helps the abuser. One day these words wont be so full of shame and guilt. You can find your words. You can tell your story.